The Spam…

So I have now had to disable all the new accounts, because i was getting 300+ new spam accounts a day. so to me it was either block everyone in a couple of countries, and I was not willing to do that. so if you need an account email me and we will have a conversation. everyone that still has the account details, they have not changed so continue on! for anyone else… here it is… syn at the place you are .com

we will talk and maybe get you an account!

Stupid Robots

So renting a car is a strange thing if you think about it. but the worst part about it is when a new Safety feature tries to kill you. so all you devs out there working on things for cars ask yourself… will this feature behave in a way that might surprise the fuck out of the driver and yank the wheel out of there hand and try to send the cat off in to the nether realm because a stripe stopped or if it will randomly turn itself on or off because it was confused and also sending you off in to oblivion. I want my good car back…

Liminal Space

So it is strange to come back to a place that you once called home. Especially when that place does not changes very fast. You see things that you didn’t see before, things that bother you now but didn’t before. And like the physical space the people that occupy that space seem to be caught in the same non changing space. And I wonder if it is really that the people have not changed or if I have changed and that now that I am looking into the fish bowl that I can see the place for what it really is not not for what I thought it once was. The place and the people are still special to me, but something has most definitely changed, And some things have not. I think the trick it figuring out if it is the place or yourself that has changed.

things to FIX

screens,
doors,
dish washer,
AC????,
batts for smoke det,
patio,
certs,
photos for WS,
resume for that thing,
that thing!,

Hello Friend

I know i have not spoken for a long time, but i have been in a hole, a deep dark hole that i am trying to claw out. i think i am getting out. even if it is very slow. but that is enough about that. this is about the fun that is going to start! and really if you have found this than you have started already! and you have found the first message. and decrypted  it! Good job!!!!!!! so now you will just have to hang out and see where it goes.

 

PS don’t worry this is not a Marketing ploy for some stupid movie of game. so have fun and welcome to the rocket mice!

Hard place

It is one of the hardest things to do,  to sit in the next room and hear you partner argue with there other partner over something. Especially when ot it arguing over going out and spending time together. This has put a dark cloud over a really good night. I wish I could fix it, but I know I can’t. This sucks!

Just a quote.

When you are desperate to find someone to blame.

Then that person can do nothing to please you.

Because you have already made up your mind.

-anonymous-

Time

I read a post today that says time does not heal all wounds, it just replaces memories. that got me thinking and they are correct. it does just replace memories. That has made me even more sad than I already have been. There are things I don’t want to forget. The way people made me feel, the way I could not stop smiling when I was near them. But, there are the fights and the bad that I will gladly be rid of. Time does that… For the most part, it seems that when you are in the present all you can see is the bad and you don’t remember the good, but very shortly after the situation changes so do the memories. The bad ones start to fade and the good ones start to resurface. After even more time that is all that is left is the thoughts of the good and the longing for that feeling again. Let more time pass and the good memories start to fade away as well and so does that person, and that makes me sad as well. It makes me sad because someone that was at one time so important, now is but a mere passing thought that takes up almost none of your time. Than nothing, they become nothing to you anymore, not even a fleeting thought in the night. we just move on.

I didn’t miss the moon for the stars I just captured a comet for a wile on its way through, and from its perspective it did the same.

Gods speed little Comet, and beware of unstable orbits.

01001010 00100000 01111000 01101010 01101101 01101101 00100000 01100010 01101101 01111000 01100010 01111010 01110100 00100000 01101101 01110000 01110111 01100110 00100000 01111010 01110000 01110110 00100000 01101100 01101010 01110101 01110101 01111010 00101110

Well, I think I knew this was going to happen, but it still doesn’t make it hurt any less. We have Grown Apart and we have filled our lives with others to the point that there was no room for either one of us. I know you still love me and I still love you too. And people say that that should make it hurt less but it doesn’t. If anything it hurts worse. We have both tried so hard, and put so much effort into trying to make this work. But it didn’t. The way you looked at me today so sad, when you said you realized that more of this was your fault and you had thought. It broke my heart and it should have made me feel a little less hurt. But it didn’t. I really hope we can still be friends but I don’t know if we can. We don’t know what being friends is all we have ever done is be lovers.

All I want to do right now is self destruct. all the booze all the drugs, all the nameless people. anything to make the hurt be less, but it won’t

We agreed that we were both unhappy for a while, and that should have made all of this hurt less, but it didn’t. Because this hurt is worse than the unhappy that I had been feeling towards you. I know logically that this is the best thing for us, and that should make all of this hurt less, but it doesn’t.

I really hope everything works out in the end, and you are happy, and I am happy with how things turn out. I will just keep telling myself that this is the best thing for everyone, And I really hope it is. I hope the things aren’t awkward when we’re at the same events, and when you see me there it will look like everything is okay, but it isn’t.  I hope that this hurt will heal , and not into resentment  and hatred. There will be so many things that just won’t be the same. Things that we had planned to do together that I will still do. I will just do them alone.

I don’t want to lose you but this hurt I feel tells me I have.

Maybe one day in the future things will change. But for now there is just the hurt of losing you.

Good bye…

I will miss you…